The Return

WOW So the cancer came back. Who knew? Who would have guessed? If I say that I DID think it would reappear then I totally suck because I'm not using my "powers of positive thought", to effectively change the outcome of life events. If I say I didn't ever think about it coming back I'm totally being unrealistic, so I guess you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. Or AKA the spot I'm in with cancer again.

And besides I thought that doing the last chemo treatment was like an insurance policy to ensure that the cancer wasn't ever coming back. I totally wish there was a way for me to ask for a refund... or a least a little compensation since we all know that it didn't really work for sh*t. Although there is somewhat of a sense of peace knowing that I already know what it's going to be like.

There is a part of me that is just glad that they knew! They were able to look at it and tell me exactly what it was. It didn't need to be flown off to some exotic country to get examined/drink complex pino niors while overlooking the Tuscon country side. I was so scared that I was going to walk back into the doc's office with this random severe pain again and they were going to be like "ummm yea, we're not really sure". I'm just not really up for being a little science experiment, even though my body is determined to act defiantly.

Soooo here we go again...