I think that Thanksgiving is an amazing holiday. One of the few that hasn't been consumed by commercialization. I mean Target barely even recognizes it. They're putting up the faux Christmas trees as the witch hats are coming off the shelves at 75% off. But really can you blame them? There isn't really a profit margin to be made on celebrating the blessings in your life other than on the turkey.
Ha! No need to actually get a business minor from GAC to understand how retail works.
However this Thanksgiving was a little challenging for me. Yes I obviously have many many many blessings and things to be thankful for in my life. However I think that when you spend a day really focusing on those things... it also makes you more painfully aware of the things you aren't necessarily thankful in your life. And that was very hard for me. And while there are blessings that come out of having cancer, I don't think anyone is ever thankful to have this disease in their life.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
The Preamble to the Meal
So this year I got to help host Thanksgiving. Mostly because I think CA has had a lot of other things on her mind and it gave me something to fill the infinite amount of hours in my day. Believe me I was excited to have a project to work on! My head was filled with To Do lists from cleaning our radiators to buying out the local grocery store and undertaking the task of creating all new side dishes for the meal.
And I'm just going to say this in my defense up front, because it's my blog and I can, originally when we were planning the meal at least 10 people were going to be eating. So obviously it would have been necessary to have 4 different kinds of vegetables and 2 kinds of potatoes.
CA & I head out to the "big" Econo Foods, armed with my list & a diet root beer I'm ready to go! And as I start piling the fresh produce into our cart this sneaky anxiety starts to creep over me... we are NOT going to have enough room. I order CA to grab another cart & we're off! We seriously could have been in a comerical the way we were flying around the store, filing things into the baskets and yelling at each other across the isles. Okay maybe that's a little dramatic but it was pretty close.
Our refrigerator had gone from bare to bursting at the seems when we arrived home and unloaded the 40 bags. Sorry environmentalists, they were the paper kind. (Side note: we do reuse them to pick up the dog poop though... that counts as recycling)
It was also good because all of this food preparation give my grandma something to worry about in her free time. She kept wondering around the kitchen commenting about how much food we were actually making and who was going to eat it all. Although I've attended many meals prepared from her kitchen which left the family with an abundance of leftovers. But I will say in her defense (see I'm an equal opportunity defender...) that only 7 people came over to our house for dinner. But really I was just following in my mother's footsteps because she started the whole thing with buying a 24 lb turkey.
But really who can deny that the best part of a huge meal is the left overs? I mean you have to have something to show for all your hard work, because typically the main event only lasts about 20 mins and then the whole thing is over. Well I guess the dessert does make a little encore appearance later in the evening.
The moral of the story was learning that there is a lot more that goes into hosting a holiday than what might appear on the surface. And that really I'm doomed to be an over preparer of food after following in my grandmother's and mother's footsteps!
And I'm just going to say this in my defense up front, because it's my blog and I can, originally when we were planning the meal at least 10 people were going to be eating. So obviously it would have been necessary to have 4 different kinds of vegetables and 2 kinds of potatoes.
CA & I head out to the "big" Econo Foods, armed with my list & a diet root beer I'm ready to go! And as I start piling the fresh produce into our cart this sneaky anxiety starts to creep over me... we are NOT going to have enough room. I order CA to grab another cart & we're off! We seriously could have been in a comerical the way we were flying around the store, filing things into the baskets and yelling at each other across the isles. Okay maybe that's a little dramatic but it was pretty close.
Our refrigerator had gone from bare to bursting at the seems when we arrived home and unloaded the 40 bags. Sorry environmentalists, they were the paper kind. (Side note: we do reuse them to pick up the dog poop though... that counts as recycling)
It was also good because all of this food preparation give my grandma something to worry about in her free time. She kept wondering around the kitchen commenting about how much food we were actually making and who was going to eat it all. Although I've attended many meals prepared from her kitchen which left the family with an abundance of leftovers. But I will say in her defense (see I'm an equal opportunity defender...) that only 7 people came over to our house for dinner. But really I was just following in my mother's footsteps because she started the whole thing with buying a 24 lb turkey.
But really who can deny that the best part of a huge meal is the left overs? I mean you have to have something to show for all your hard work, because typically the main event only lasts about 20 mins and then the whole thing is over. Well I guess the dessert does make a little encore appearance later in the evening.
The moral of the story was learning that there is a lot more that goes into hosting a holiday than what might appear on the surface. And that really I'm doomed to be an over preparer of food after following in my grandmother's and mother's footsteps!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Support
Through out my journey I have had an UNBELIEVABLE amount of support. So much so that it honestly leaves me speechless almost daily. I'm so grateful and thankful for every card, gift, kind word, prayer and thought. I know that it makes a huge difference in my battle.
During a rough patch in the middle of Round 2 a friend suggested that I try getting involved with a support group. I was a little hesitant at first. I kept thinking, "I already have so much support and I still am feeling this way... what good would more do?". But I decided to try it anyway.
The first group I joined is called Imerman Angels and they concentrate on providing one-on-one cancer support: connecting fighters, survivors and caregivers. They work to match people who have had similar experiences so that you can get personalized support from someone that is the same age, gender and gone through the same thing. I've been lucky enough to get paired with two people that have gone through similar chemo regimens. We've been staying connected through phone calls, emails and cards. And it's been really great to have someone that can share those similar experiences. It's been a great support system for me and I would recommend it to anyone going through cancer or if anyone has gone through it either personally or as a caregiver as a great way to reach out and give back.
If you or anyone you know would like to get involved, here is all the information:
Jonny Imerman
IMERMAN ANGELS
Testicular Cancer Survivor
Executive Directorjonny@imermanangels.org
p: (312) 274-5529 x11
f: (312) 274-5530
c: (312) 307-4948
400 W. Erie Street Suite #405 Chicago, IL 60654
http://ImermanAngels.org
During a rough patch in the middle of Round 2 a friend suggested that I try getting involved with a support group. I was a little hesitant at first. I kept thinking, "I already have so much support and I still am feeling this way... what good would more do?". But I decided to try it anyway.
The first group I joined is called Imerman Angels and they concentrate on providing one-on-one cancer support: connecting fighters, survivors and caregivers. They work to match people who have had similar experiences so that you can get personalized support from someone that is the same age, gender and gone through the same thing. I've been lucky enough to get paired with two people that have gone through similar chemo regimens. We've been staying connected through phone calls, emails and cards. And it's been really great to have someone that can share those similar experiences. It's been a great support system for me and I would recommend it to anyone going through cancer or if anyone has gone through it either personally or as a caregiver as a great way to reach out and give back.
If you or anyone you know would like to get involved, here is all the information:
Jonny Imerman
IMERMAN ANGELS
Testicular Cancer Survivor
Executive Directorjonny@imermanangels.org
p: (312) 274-5529 x11
f: (312) 274-5530
c: (312) 307-4948
400 W. Erie Street Suite #405 Chicago, IL 60654
http://ImermanAngels.org
Friday, November 14, 2008
Addiction
I've never really been one to fall for getting addicted to things. Okay maybe there was that daily Starbucks stop and that other yoga thing isn't really an addiction because it's totally healthy for mind, body and spirit.
But I am here to say (I hear admittance is the first step) that I am addicted... to Simply Grapefruit the juice. I swear they put crack in that stuff... it's so fricken goooood. I could honestly drink it all day long if it weren't $4.75 a container. But I think financially I'm better off drinking that compared to Starbucks, so maybe we'll have to see...
Some might say, "Annie, really, how do you know it's an addiction, maybe it's just love?" (yea right stalker...) Well I will tell you, despite my own personal embarrassment, how I came to discover it really is a true addiction...
I was in the grocery store yesterday checking out. I had been up and down every isle and filled my cart to the brim! So I was watching the items go through and all of a sudden I get nervous... I had only grabbed ONE Simply Grapefruit. So this ferocious internal debate started... will I need more? is that enough? (Keep in mind the grocery store is LITERALLY 6 blocks from my house) Here is when I knew I was addicted, I made the check out lady AND the person behind me wait so that I could run back to isle 8 and grab more juice. Really what kind of person does that?!?!?!?!
But tomorrow when I'm cracking into my second bottle of the week, I'll be so happy that I did....ummmmmmm YuM YuM YuM!!!!
But I am here to say (I hear admittance is the first step) that I am addicted... to Simply Grapefruit the juice. I swear they put crack in that stuff... it's so fricken goooood. I could honestly drink it all day long if it weren't $4.75 a container. But I think financially I'm better off drinking that compared to Starbucks, so maybe we'll have to see...
Some might say, "Annie, really, how do you know it's an addiction, maybe it's just love?" (yea right stalker...) Well I will tell you, despite my own personal embarrassment, how I came to discover it really is a true addiction...
I was in the grocery store yesterday checking out. I had been up and down every isle and filled my cart to the brim! So I was watching the items go through and all of a sudden I get nervous... I had only grabbed ONE Simply Grapefruit. So this ferocious internal debate started... will I need more? is that enough? (Keep in mind the grocery store is LITERALLY 6 blocks from my house) Here is when I knew I was addicted, I made the check out lady AND the person behind me wait so that I could run back to isle 8 and grab more juice. Really what kind of person does that?!?!?!?!
But tomorrow when I'm cracking into my second bottle of the week, I'll be so happy that I did....ummmmmmm YuM YuM YuM!!!!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Pukin' Potatoes
So WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Round 3 is d - o - n - e!! Done!
I'm definitely thankful to be beyond the half way mark. This round has gone pretty smoothly. I slept through both days in the hospital and then continued to sleep once I returned home. Very exciting. Although I do have lots of time to watch Oprah and we've already seen that photo opt pay off, so I'm not counting out my couch potato days yet...
And speaking of potatoes... (which starts with a "P") I've had quite the interesting run in with them in the last 48 hours. While I've been home I've been discovering that cooking helps me past the time & adds a little productivity to my day. So when I haven't been facebooking I've been semi-addicted to looking at online cookbooks. And it's kinda like when I was a kid, you only like the ones with the really good pictures. Fast forward to me seeing some great shots of these delicious home fries on my favorite site: http://smittenkitchen.com/
At this point I'm thinking GREAT! I have these delicious Yukon gold potatoes I need to use and I'm hungry! This will be perfect! Well my first disappointment came when I added the itty bitty little onion pieces to the bowl of the potatoes - oops! (Thanks for that tip a little too late) Turns out that's okay, your onions just become little charred black bits a top your potato. But you still get the flavor and they make a good topping. So I get them all fried up, nice and crispy and I dish up a healthy Midwest size serving. YuM YuM
About 45 mins later I am not feeling well at all... and UP comes the potatoes back for their sophomore debut! (One even came through my nose... not pretty and it's not because I had that weird tube down my nose earlier in July... that can just happen - my mom said so....) So I of course blame it on the chemo. And think to myself I should have taken more anti-nausea drugs and all that.
Meanwhile I'm at home today, middle of the afternoon just wanting a little snack so I think, oouuu I'll just warm up some of my wonderful home fries and it'll be perfect. Had more of a Hollywood size helping and set about grocery shopping. Now it's almost time for the hot docs on Greys to brighten my week when I feel like I'm going down hill again... but those pesky potatoes were traveling right back up hill! And they reached the top!
So while I'm happy to report I have not encountered phantom limb or pregnancy as a "P" disease during this round. I have had quite the case of "puking potatoes"... but all should be cleared up as soon as I get the bathroom cleaned up :)
Round 3 is d - o - n - e!! Done!
I'm definitely thankful to be beyond the half way mark. This round has gone pretty smoothly. I slept through both days in the hospital and then continued to sleep once I returned home. Very exciting. Although I do have lots of time to watch Oprah and we've already seen that photo opt pay off, so I'm not counting out my couch potato days yet...
And speaking of potatoes... (which starts with a "P") I've had quite the interesting run in with them in the last 48 hours. While I've been home I've been discovering that cooking helps me past the time & adds a little productivity to my day. So when I haven't been facebooking I've been semi-addicted to looking at online cookbooks. And it's kinda like when I was a kid, you only like the ones with the really good pictures. Fast forward to me seeing some great shots of these delicious home fries on my favorite site: http://smittenkitchen.com/
At this point I'm thinking GREAT! I have these delicious Yukon gold potatoes I need to use and I'm hungry! This will be perfect! Well my first disappointment came when I added the itty bitty little onion pieces to the bowl of the potatoes - oops! (Thanks for that tip a little too late) Turns out that's okay, your onions just become little charred black bits a top your potato. But you still get the flavor and they make a good topping. So I get them all fried up, nice and crispy and I dish up a healthy Midwest size serving. YuM YuM
About 45 mins later I am not feeling well at all... and UP comes the potatoes back for their sophomore debut! (One even came through my nose... not pretty and it's not because I had that weird tube down my nose earlier in July... that can just happen - my mom said so....) So I of course blame it on the chemo. And think to myself I should have taken more anti-nausea drugs and all that.
Meanwhile I'm at home today, middle of the afternoon just wanting a little snack so I think, oouuu I'll just warm up some of my wonderful home fries and it'll be perfect. Had more of a Hollywood size helping and set about grocery shopping. Now it's almost time for the hot docs on Greys to brighten my week when I feel like I'm going down hill again... but those pesky potatoes were traveling right back up hill! And they reached the top!
So while I'm happy to report I have not encountered phantom limb or pregnancy as a "P" disease during this round. I have had quite the case of "puking potatoes"... but all should be cleared up as soon as I get the bathroom cleaned up :)
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Ask Me A Question!
"It is Decidedly So"
"My Sources Say No"
Those were the only answers this magic 8 ball was giving out on Halloween! It was so fun to be able to celebrate this year!!! I didn't play any tricks on anyone but I did get some treats! :)
Half Way
Round 3 Starts Today... in 6 & 1/2 hours I have to get up and go... It's like one of those things were you want to stay up all night because you think to yourself "if I don't go to sleep tomorrow can't come & I won't have to do chemo".
But on the other hand, I'll be excited to be half way done!!!
The extra week off has been a blessing. Then it was a curse. Then a blessing again. Mentally I just wasn't ready to go back in. And everyone says well you just have to do it... yea... but if you're not mentally prepared for something like that there is no way it's going to be okay. So it was nice to have a little more time to prep for that. Oh and of course let my body heal from Pink Eye round 2! The curse part is now I think round 4 of chemo might overlap with thanksgiving (boooooooooo!!!!). But the blessing was that eventually I did get to feel like myself again (mostly) even if it was just for a couple of days. Ah the rollercoster ride of life...
So here we go again! Bring it on chemo I've already kicked your ass twice so I know I can do it again and again and again!!!
But on the other hand, I'll be excited to be half way done!!!
The extra week off has been a blessing. Then it was a curse. Then a blessing again. Mentally I just wasn't ready to go back in. And everyone says well you just have to do it... yea... but if you're not mentally prepared for something like that there is no way it's going to be okay. So it was nice to have a little more time to prep for that. Oh and of course let my body heal from Pink Eye round 2! The curse part is now I think round 4 of chemo might overlap with thanksgiving (boooooooooo!!!!). But the blessing was that eventually I did get to feel like myself again (mostly) even if it was just for a couple of days. Ah the rollercoster ride of life...
So here we go again! Bring it on chemo I've already kicked your ass twice so I know I can do it again and again and again!!!
The Ugly Side of Chemo
Fuck
Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK YOU CHEMO fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Really it's just what you have to say when no other word will do to describe the situation...
Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK YOU CHEMO fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Really it's just what you have to say when no other word will do to describe the situation...
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
You haven't been blogging
"You haven't been blogging"
Yep that's a true statement. I really hadn't been for most of this second half of this cycle. But it's not that I didn't think about blogging because I did. Everyday. Usually around 7-9 times a day if you would like to be picky about it. And it wasn't like I didn't want to let people know what was going on in my life. (Well to be honest, not much...)
I just had a hard time forcing myself to sit down and write. And you'd think with all this time on my hands it'd be easy... but I just didn't feel like me. Most of the time I felt lazy, unproductive, unmotivated, unhealthy mopey, ugh just not like Annie.
Part of me thinks that it's also just that the whole reality of the situation hit home a little more. Some big changes happened and life moved on. It's not like I'm just on sick leave for a couple of days and when I get back everything will be the same. I've been out of it since the middle of July... that's like an entire college semester or a whole quarter in business. I know that I'm doing something very important, I mean survival is kinda key to living, but it's just such an extreme change from being right in the middle of everything to feel like your life is being put on hold. I know and don't expect things to be the same if and when I go back to Baltimore (I'm splint 60% back to the E.C., 20% staying in MN and 20% moving somewhere new...). I guess even if you don't expect things to stay the same, sometimes you just have to feel the grief when things do change...
They say everyone is affected differently by chemo. No doctor can tell you exactly how your body will react. Mostly because they're still practicing medicine. I guess this is just one of the unforeseen side effects that I get to experience... Oh well :)
Yep that's a true statement. I really hadn't been for most of this second half of this cycle. But it's not that I didn't think about blogging because I did. Everyday. Usually around 7-9 times a day if you would like to be picky about it. And it wasn't like I didn't want to let people know what was going on in my life. (Well to be honest, not much...)
I just had a hard time forcing myself to sit down and write. And you'd think with all this time on my hands it'd be easy... but I just didn't feel like me. Most of the time I felt lazy, unproductive, unmotivated, unhealthy mopey, ugh just not like Annie.
Part of me thinks that it's also just that the whole reality of the situation hit home a little more. Some big changes happened and life moved on. It's not like I'm just on sick leave for a couple of days and when I get back everything will be the same. I've been out of it since the middle of July... that's like an entire college semester or a whole quarter in business. I know that I'm doing something very important, I mean survival is kinda key to living, but it's just such an extreme change from being right in the middle of everything to feel like your life is being put on hold. I know and don't expect things to be the same if and when I go back to Baltimore (I'm splint 60% back to the E.C., 20% staying in MN and 20% moving somewhere new...). I guess even if you don't expect things to stay the same, sometimes you just have to feel the grief when things do change...
They say everyone is affected differently by chemo. No doctor can tell you exactly how your body will react. Mostly because they're still practicing medicine. I guess this is just one of the unforeseen side effects that I get to experience... Oh well :)
Finger Soup
I know that this may sound kinda crazy to some of you - but I really miss work. It sorta feels like I'm 14 again and on an endless summer vacation with nothing to do. So in an effort to feel more productive and to help out with cooking meals for the family I decided to try out my brand new soup cook book late one fall afternoon.
It was great! I got to go to the little local farmers market and buy squash, potatoes, onions, peppers, carrots and all sorts of fresh stuff. I was all excited to get home and start making the soup!
So all is going well... getting the huge butter nut squash all ready to chop up and then... BAHM!!! There goes a huge chunk of my ring finger on my left hand. Well actually I shouldn't say there goes... because the chunk was still there...stuck to the knife...not moving... totally gross I know! SO blood is gushing, I'm screaming, it was not a pretty sight :(
Thankfully stitches were not required... because really you can't sew a chunk back on. But I told my doc and his advice - "don't do it again". Really good right? I know, and I won't even require you to submit a claim to your insurance company.
Well if you haven't lost your appetite yet... I'll share the soup recipe with you. You can't let a little injury stop you from creating a culinary master piece.
Spicy Chicken & Peanut Soup
"A thick & warming vegetable soup, flavored with cayenne pepper and peanuts"
Ingredients:
2 tsp oil
1 large onion, minced
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tsp mild ground cayenne pepper (I added 2 tsp 'cuz I like it spicya!!!)
2 red bell peppers, seeded and minced
1 1/2 cups minced carrots
1 1/2 cups finely chopped potatoes
3 celery stalks, sliced
4 pre-cooked chicken breasts, chopped
3 3/4 cups vegetable stock (I substituted chicken broth)
6 TBS crunchy peanut butter (*hint* 3 TBS = 1/4 cup so use 1/2 cup)
2/3 cup whole corn kernels
salt and pepper to taste (1 tsp salt & 4 tsp pepper)
chopped unsalted roasted peanuts to garnish
Cooking Instructions:
1. Heat the oil in a large pan. Add the onions & garlic, cook about 3 mins, or until the onions are soft. Add the cayenne pepper and cook for a 1 min longer.
2. Add the red peppers, carrots, potatoes and celery. Stir well and cook for 4-10 mins longer stirring occasionally.
3. Add the vegetable stock, peanut butter, chicken breasts and corn kernels, stirring until thoroughly combined.
4. Season well (salt & pepper) and bring to a boil. Cover and simmer for about 20 - 30 mins until all the vegetables are tender. Adjust the seasoning before serving, sprinkle with the chopped peanuts.
Serves 6 - I doubled the recipe and it made a huge batch. But it was DELICIOUS!!!
Bon Appetit!
It was great! I got to go to the little local farmers market and buy squash, potatoes, onions, peppers, carrots and all sorts of fresh stuff. I was all excited to get home and start making the soup!
So all is going well... getting the huge butter nut squash all ready to chop up and then... BAHM!!! There goes a huge chunk of my ring finger on my left hand. Well actually I shouldn't say there goes... because the chunk was still there...stuck to the knife...not moving... totally gross I know! SO blood is gushing, I'm screaming, it was not a pretty sight :(
Thankfully stitches were not required... because really you can't sew a chunk back on. But I told my doc and his advice - "don't do it again". Really good right? I know, and I won't even require you to submit a claim to your insurance company.
Well if you haven't lost your appetite yet... I'll share the soup recipe with you. You can't let a little injury stop you from creating a culinary master piece.
Spicy Chicken & Peanut Soup
"A thick & warming vegetable soup, flavored with cayenne pepper and peanuts"
Ingredients:
2 tsp oil
1 large onion, minced
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tsp mild ground cayenne pepper (I added 2 tsp 'cuz I like it spicya!!!)
2 red bell peppers, seeded and minced
1 1/2 cups minced carrots
1 1/2 cups finely chopped potatoes
3 celery stalks, sliced
4 pre-cooked chicken breasts, chopped
3 3/4 cups vegetable stock (I substituted chicken broth)
6 TBS crunchy peanut butter (*hint* 3 TBS = 1/4 cup so use 1/2 cup)
2/3 cup whole corn kernels
salt and pepper to taste (1 tsp salt & 4 tsp pepper)
chopped unsalted roasted peanuts to garnish
Cooking Instructions:
1. Heat the oil in a large pan. Add the onions & garlic, cook about 3 mins, or until the onions are soft. Add the cayenne pepper and cook for a 1 min longer.
2. Add the red peppers, carrots, potatoes and celery. Stir well and cook for 4-10 mins longer stirring occasionally.
3. Add the vegetable stock, peanut butter, chicken breasts and corn kernels, stirring until thoroughly combined.
4. Season well (salt & pepper) and bring to a boil. Cover and simmer for about 20 - 30 mins until all the vegetables are tender. Adjust the seasoning before serving, sprinkle with the chopped peanuts.
Serves 6 - I doubled the recipe and it made a huge batch. But it was DELICIOUS!!!
Bon Appetit!
What Chemo Means to me
I've been wanting to write this blog for a while, but it's never easy reliving one of the chemo days. Chemo is a very general term, but in the basic sense of the word it refers to the treatment of disease by chemicals that kill cells, specifically those of micro-organisms or cancer. (Thank you Wikipedia) Basically it's "medicine" that the inject intravenously and kills any and all cells that multiply at a fast rate & don't let them reproduce. Well that's how I understand it...
Anyway, I because every one's regime is different I thought I would outline mine.
Day 1
Anyway, I because every one's regime is different I thought I would outline mine.
Day 1
- Up early (well early for me) to shower and dress in sweats (the only highlight)
- Head to Rochester, MN about an hour Drive - oh yea and on day 1 I get a coffee treat
- Head to Gonda 10 E lab for blood work
- Hour break
- Walk over to Gonda 10 S (just a different desk) to see Dr. Allan Bryce - that visit usually takes about a half hour. We chit chat about the past cycle, whatever illness I had in between rounds and he always looks at my hands an feet
- Then it's back to Gonda 10 E to start chemo at about 11 a.m. And by this point in the day I've already verified my date of birth (yes that's how they say it) about 90 times
- I get a room with a bed and a TV and a warmer to put around my hand, helps to reduce the pain and make my veins bigger. They start an IV, which even though sounds simple can sometimes be a process.
- It takes a little while to get the first chemo drug because they can't mix it up before hand. Every patients drug amount is different and they can't chance wasting the drug because it's so expensive.
- A huge syringe filled with red liquid comes. That's called adriamycin a.k.a the red devil. They push that into my IV and I turn red and start feeling sick. Plus while this is going on, they want me to either suck on Popsicles or ice chips.
- Then they give me mesna. This is a small little bag of clear fluid that hangs and takes about 15 mins to go in. I have to take this one to help protect my kidneys and bladder.
- This is when they give me my second chemo drug, Ifosfamide. This also hangs and goes into my IV but takes 4-5 hours to drip in. I'm awake for maybe the first 1/3 of it and then usually I pass out to try to avoid feeling sick.
- After that all goes in, I get another bag of Mesna. Then it's into a wheel chair and heading home. Maybe a pit stop to throw up in the parking lot... just sometimes though :)
- 4 & 8 hours after all my drugs at Mayo I get more Mesna to take at home. If I can't keep it down for 30 mins I have to go to the ER to get more.
Day 2 - I go through the EXACT same process all over again.
I should mention that Day 2 is a little bit easier only in the fact that I don't do blood work and meet with the doctor again. I just start the chemo right away. There are more details too, like I have to use a wheel chair to get from the garage to the 10th floor, I pretty much sleep the whole day, and I don't get as excited about wearing sweats. But that's mostly just because I get angry that I have to stand up to put them on... Oh and no coffee treats the second day either.
I typically don't have visitors come during the chemo. Mostly just because it's so emotional and I never know how I'm going to feel. Plus it's just hard to have people see you like that and it's just easier to get through if there aren't any expectations... but I love when people want to hang out with me afterwards!!!
It's hard to even write this blog because just thinking about the 2 days in my head kinda makes me feel a little sick to my stomach. And I'm pretty sure I'm never eating a Popsicle again in my life!!!! Especially if it's red or blue - ICK!
So now you all know, that's what chemo means to me.
24 In Style
My Birthday!
Is pretty much my favorite day of the year. I mean if we're really honest with our selves, we all love attention. And the best thing about your birthday is you don't have to pretend to be modest about it - really it can just be all about you :) It is too bad that it only lasts 24 hours though... goes so quick.
Anyway mine was celebrated in true fashion this year. Definitely not how I would have imagined it... but more than wonderful none the less. Day 5 post chemo is usually my first good day, plus I think I was even feeling better due to the birthday excitement. Most of the morning was spent catching up with good friends on the phone. Then my first trip out of the house since going in... mind you it was to the dump to drop off a mattress, but out of the house none the less. Then it was up to the carriage house for a little "lunch" (sure Mrs. Guthrie, just give me uh 20 mins) and a long afternoon nap!
When I awoke, the fun began! Anna, Tonia, Julie, Cain and Thao all came down from the cities to help me celebrate! Then Teri T and "the hot neighbor" came over for the bonfire. We dined on wild rice cheese soup and 2 amazing desserts, chocolate Philadelphia cream cheese cake & pumpkin cheese cake - YUM!!! Once we were all knee deep in wrapping paper from all the pjs, slippers, massage gift certificates, and cards (even the awkward ones...) the bonfire started.
Now I really do wish I could divulge all of the secrets that were discovered around the campfire... but... our backyard is kinda like Vegas. So I guess if you're not already in the "know"... you'll have to come have a bonfire with us and find out!
Is pretty much my favorite day of the year. I mean if we're really honest with our selves, we all love attention. And the best thing about your birthday is you don't have to pretend to be modest about it - really it can just be all about you :) It is too bad that it only lasts 24 hours though... goes so quick.
Anyway mine was celebrated in true fashion this year. Definitely not how I would have imagined it... but more than wonderful none the less. Day 5 post chemo is usually my first good day, plus I think I was even feeling better due to the birthday excitement. Most of the morning was spent catching up with good friends on the phone. Then my first trip out of the house since going in... mind you it was to the dump to drop off a mattress, but out of the house none the less. Then it was up to the carriage house for a little "lunch" (sure Mrs. Guthrie, just give me uh 20 mins) and a long afternoon nap!
When I awoke, the fun began! Anna, Tonia, Julie, Cain and Thao all came down from the cities to help me celebrate! Then Teri T and "the hot neighbor" came over for the bonfire. We dined on wild rice cheese soup and 2 amazing desserts, chocolate Philadelphia cream cheese cake & pumpkin cheese cake - YUM!!! Once we were all knee deep in wrapping paper from all the pjs, slippers, massage gift certificates, and cards (even the awkward ones...) the bonfire started.
Now I really do wish I could divulge all of the secrets that were discovered around the campfire... but... our backyard is kinda like Vegas. So I guess if you're not already in the "know"... you'll have to come have a bonfire with us and find out!
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